I know exactly what you mean. Or the kind where they think they're just so fucking cool. Or funny when they're actually being rude and insulting. Ugh, Xanga.

I HAVE GOOD NEWS, PAL!
I get another week with my mommy. :D

thank you, thank you. :D
what are you up to?

Well, I was going to just post a blog about this on my personal but I'd actually feel more comfortable telling you first.

I hung out with Elise, Travis and his friend Mark last night and Travis said some things that were kind of, surprising.

Oh god, Amanda, I think I like my best friend. I'm wondering if all along, I've always liked him. I wonder if Devin was just a distraction. But I know I liked him too, but I liked the person he used to be and not who he is now. Oh, I like Travis. :|

Well, here is the exact same thing I sent Elise explaining what happened last night between me and him after she went home: (I apologize for it being so long. I was freaking out.)

Yesterday, after you left, Travis and I were sitting on the swing and Christian came out there because Mark wanted to 'formally meet her' and Mark all of a sudden goes 'I have a question, Brendan.' And I went 'Okay.' and he goes 'Why when a girl and a guy become friends does that automatically kill his chance of becoming more and that girl ends up going for someone that she doesn't really know.' and I almost felt like it was a reference to me and Travis and me used to liking Devin. So I said 'Well, I don't know. Sometimes the girl just thinks that that's all there is there on his side.' And then Travis goes 'Yeah, and they don't want to ruin the friendship if it ends badly. Because there would be some girls at my school that I'd date if I wasn't scared about that.' And Christian said he glanced his eyes straight at me when he said that. I wonder if he asked Mark to come to see if there was something there, you know what I mean?

Oh god. :| It's all I've been able to think about, Elise. I know I'll still be able to be normal around him, but I'm really scared of getting wrapped up in him again like I did last year when Shannon basically ruined that for me. And the weird thing is, I haven't even been thinking about Devin. I know I liked Devin, but maybe I like the person he used to be better than the person he is now. Because I don't really know that person, but from what I've heard, I don't think I want to. Maybe all this time Devin was just helping me get over Travis while he got over Shannon. And you know how Travis is always wanting me to get over this Devin thing. And last night when I brought it up he goes 'Just change the subject, please.' And he was acting different around me yesterday too. Oh fuck, have all of these signs been here forever and I've just not noticed? Have I really had a thing for Travis this long? I told Christian last night and she goes "I KNEW IT!" Oh my god, Elise. I am so confused. D:


So yeah, there's a chance. I think he just doesn't know how I am going to react to it.

I suppose so. I sure do HOPE so.

Anyway, how is your day? :)

Thank you! :)

Awh, don't be lonely! I'm really fucking confused. Pardon my french.

I just got Elise's reply to my message and she goes 'I'm coming to your house. That's all I have to say. I'm confused as hell. There HAVE been signs! Oh Bren. That's it. I'm coming. Is Monday at three okay? Well, I'm coming either way.' Lol. It made me laugh. I want to scream. I hate being confused.

He called me today to wish me a happy fourth and ask me if I was going to our friend Drew's house and he said he was going and I told him I couldn't go because I was doing stuff with my family and he goes 'Oh...okay. I guess I'll talk to you later then?' and I was like 'Yeah, why wouldn't you?' and he goes 'I...I don't know.' and there was a moment of silence and he goes 'Okay so, I'll see ya.' and then we said our goodbyes and it just felt ~AWKWARD! I'm awkward on the phone anyway, and our situation didn't help.

Oh, is it the same boy? I'm thinking not since you didn't say cuteface. Ha.

I know how you feel. I'm trying to figure out if I still like Devin and if I even like Travis that way and dgaqjgnldkjgnvaskdjn! I don't think I'll know until school starts back, to be honest. But Devin isn't on my mind as much, and I've heard he met this girl named Shelby from Georgia and he's kind of been into her even though she lives in another state. I don't know, it's just easier to say I don't care. I might just end up having to get over it.

ugh, boys.

Aweee! That's cute. :D

It doesn't matter. All girls know how dumb boys are.
I sound like I'm in kindergarten again. Haha.